A little over nine years ago, I found out I was pregnant with our first child. We didn’t know what we were having, but I had a strong feeling it was a girl. Being pregnant made me reevaluate a lot of the things I thought about women- and having female friendships. I realized that while I valued and loved my male friends dearly, they would never truly understand what it is to be a mother, what it is to carry a child, and most of all- what it is to be a woman.
A year into being a mother, we moved to Greenville, SC. I joined my first “mom group”. It was more intimidating than trying out for a cheerleading squad. These women were from all walks of life, and they all seemed to know what they were doing. I didn’t know what the heck I was doing, and I was aware that I didn’t know. In retrospect, I think some of them just faked it better than others, because let’s be real, when it comes to parenting, no one knows what the heck they’re doing. No one.
The thing about joining a “mom group” or trying to make mom friends, that no one tells you, is that it’s like dating. It’s so awful until you start to accept the kind of mom you are and recognize the kind of friends you really want. After a while, I got better at quickly discerning who was going to become a good friend, and who would be “filler”, or nothing at all.
After moving so many times, I’ve made so many wonderful, amazing girlfriends, that I often wonder how I’d gotten through life this long without them. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown so much as a person. I don’t think I would be the person I am without the love, support, and respect of my tribe.
Many of my girlfriends have kids. My friends range from high-level business women to artists, stay-at-home moms to philanthropists. They are all strong women who are encouraging the next generation of children to be strong, open, kind, and focused on creating positive things for a better world.
And as great as these moms are, the idea that you need to have children to be an influencer, encourager, or inspiration to the future generations is bull. The idea that women with children can’t be friends with women without children is unhealthy and antiquated, and frankly, it’s holding women back. Women need to support women. People need to support people. In a time where 9 out of 10 news articles are terrifying, where message boards about travel, parenting, or the color yellow are riddled with fear mongering, we NEED to support one another. We NEED to spread the good stuff. Support the positive. Spread the positive, not the negative.
On Sunday, I will be sharing an interview with Sara Amrhein. She is an amazing artist, a wonderful person, and a positive force in the world. Beginning this month, I will be posting monthly interviews with inspiring artists, business people, and spreaders of the “good stuff”. If you have someone you are inspired by, that you would like to nominate for an interview, please email me at cara@bowandbranch.com.